When Sh*t Happens

Taoism: sh*t happens.

Confucianism: Confucius says, “sh*t happens.”

Buddhism: If sh*t happens, it isn’t really sh*t.

Zen: sh*t is, and is not,; what is the sound of sh*t happening?

Hinduism: This sh*t happened before.

Mormon: This sh*t is going to happen again.

Islam: If sh*t happens, it is the will of Allah.

Calvinism: sh*t happens because you don’t work hard enough.

Catholicism: sh*t happens because you are bad; if sh*t happens, you deserve it.

Protestantism: Let this sh*t happen to someone else.

Judaism: Why does this sh*t always happen to us?

Stoicism: This sh*t is good for me.

Christian Science: sh*t is only in your imagination.

Seventh Day Adventist: No sh*t on Saturdays.

Hedonism: There isn’t anything like a good sh*t happening.

Moonies: Only happy sh*t happens.

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this sh*t.

Davidians: Let’s shoot and burn our own sh*t.

Church of Scientology: Of course, God created this sh*t; if sh*t

happens, see Dianetics p.147.

Shinto: Chop the sh*t.

Eastern Russian Orthodox: Holy sh*t (no more communism!)

Agnostic: Not sure about sh*t.

Shaolinism: Destroy bad sh*ts with Kung Fu.

Existentialism: What is sh*t, anyway? sh*t does not happen, sh*t is.

Atheism: What sh*t?

Presbyterian: This sh*t was bound to happen.

Episcopalian: It’s not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve

the right wine with it.

Methodist: It’s not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve grape

juice with it.

Congregationalist and Unitarian: sh*t that happens to one person is

just as good sh*t as sh*t that happens to all other.

Lutheran: If sh*t happens, don’t talk about it.

Fundamentalism: If sh*t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are

born again.

Nihilism: No sh*t.

Creationism: God made all sh*t.

Secular Humanism: sh*t evolves.

Traditional Christian: When sh*t happens, don’t call a doctor. Pray.

Quakers: Let us not fight over this sh*t

Utopianism: This sh*t does not stink.

Darwinism: This sh*t was once food.

Capitalism: that’s my sh*t mmunism: It’s everybody’s sh*t.

Feminism: Men are sh*t.

Chauvinism: We may be sh*t, but you can’t live without us.

Commercialism: Let’s package this sh*t.

Impressionism: From a distance, this sh*t looks like a garden.

Satanism: SNEPPAH THIS.

Practical: Deal with sh*t one day at a time

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p.s. Got this from my Dosen Ngehe! 😀